I Have a Dog

I’m not sure that I want a dog, but a dog is what I am currently in possession of, and it presents something of a dilemma for me.
Let’s start with the apparent facts.
First, the canine in question was abandoned on a side street of South Korea with its puppy—she was protecting the little guy but not ferociously.
Second, she has obviously been somewhat domesticated: she has been trained to save up her defecations for the walk, she seems to only ever want to eat human food—turning up her abandoned nose at the dry dog food I purchased for her, and she is generally well-mannered.
Third, she is cute in that mangy, street dog kind of way—I’m sure that there is a fashion trend somewhere along the line that could best illustrate what I mean.
Fourth, she has this tendency, whenever I touch her (and this has, for some reason, been a theme amongst myself and female dogs that I could never properly explain) she has a tendency to empty a bit of her bladder on my floor. This is not exactly serious because I was at first worried that I would be cleaning up dog crap, and dog urine is less offensive than dog crap in the cleanup department.
Fifth, my time in South Korea is going to be coming to an end in about six months, and that raises a lot of “what if?” questions about her future when I leave.
Sixth, she requires two walks a day (morning and evening to help empty that problematic bladder as much as possible) and she has basically added an hour of chores to my already pretty packed days.
Seventh, weekends in Korea can be wild times, and I can be away from home for days on end, which means that I would have to find something to do with her in the meantime.
Eighth, the girl that I am currently spending a lot of time with has an aversion to dogs that goes back to a childhood incident wherein she was chased for a very long time by a very big white dog that was apparently trying to injure her—the veracity of the story only called into question by the chase (dogs aren’t known to chase people unless the people want them to) and the fact that the dog was big (the biggest dog I have seen in Korea is an eight-month-old beagle). Now, they do have wild dogs in Korea that are apparently very big and very feral, so we don’t want to discount that fact, and it barely matters whether the story is real or not because the reality is in her very apparent aversion.
Ninth, I am on a budget as it is. My current financial reality is somewhere between “getting by” and “struggling” depending on the day, and there are certain financial realities that owning a dog entails that I’m not sure I am capable of shouldering at the current time.
Tenth, I would like to consider myself a person who is at least capable of some compassion. I have certainly had my moments where the feelings, needs, and realities of others have been disregarded, but those were also extremely important points in my own personal development where certain decisions had to be made for my own sanity. One thing I know I am not a person who is fanatically devoted to animals. I have never had the experience with one that would make me do whatever is necessary for an animal to survive. Don’t get me wrong, there is definitely a point I would go to (and I’m reaching it currently) to secure the well-being of a fellow creature, but if I have to choose between the dog eating and me eating, I would certainly choose me.
All of these things amounts to just about the same thing. There is really only one decision for me to make, and to be perfectly honest I am pretty sure that I have already made it, but the problem that I encounter—here as almost everywhere—is (in the words of the wicked witch of the west) “how to do it.”
Do I just want to drop her off at some shelter?
Do I want to see if any of my foreigner friends would like a cute little companion for their time in a foreign country?
Do I just take her for a walk and not come back with her?
There is a restaurant behind my apartment that serves dog soup, should I see if I could sell her to them?
Do I do what I usually do and wait for the universe to push me in the right direction?
I even suggested in jest to my cohorts a couple of nights ago that perhaps I could slaughter her myself and make my own dog soup as an exercise in seeing how far I could push the cruelty in my heart.
I thank my mom and the sages I have had the benefit to study for the fact that I know the answer is to do what I usually do and wait for the universe to push me in the right direction. A clear path will open itself up. It is apparent that I have put myself in a position where I want to ensure that whoever takes possession of the little girl will be in a position to love her more dearly than I’m sure she was before. She cowers sometimes when you stand over her and it’s clear that she wasn’t exactly fawned over repeatedly. As a matter of fact, I feel like I’m probably the middle ground on the way to a better place for her. She is moving towards positivity. When she was abandoned, that was pretty negative. With me, she has somebody that is willing to provide for her needs, show her some affection, and illustrate the fact that everything is going to be all right. What I want for her next owner is that extreme lover of animals who would do just about anything to have a companion, that person who would ensure beyond their own well being the well being of their pet, and that philanthropist of animal love (not in the unnatural way) who will teach her real love.
I was told that the average Korean approach to having a pet is to want one, but, when it gets too difficult or financially disadvantageous, to get rid of it at the drop of a hat. This is not unusual for the Korean character that is so built on the desire to have things happen quickly that results in extremely rapid changes of mind—Buddhism might be the best thing for Korea with its emphasis on the pace of nature.
Her name is Dog, and I can’t help but run through “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” every time I look at that punum.
It is almost stunning the things that you can get up to when you decide to take a two-hour walk at four o’clock in the morning as you’re walking home from the bar. It is important here to point out that as much as I may or may not find dealing with the issue of Dog tedious, I by no means regret it. I care enough that I being left out on the street is no way to treat a dog, and I am certainly not mistreating the little dear who is being fed, sheltered, walked, petted, and generally taken care of; however, it’s time for her to move on to a better home. Learning is a very large part of my daily routine, and I have certainly learned some things about myself as a result of this ordeal: I am not quite prepared to devote my life to the well-being of something a lot smaller than me (read: dog, cat, human, or otherwise). I CAN do it. I WILL do it if it’s necessary. But if I had my druthers, I’m fine with not.